Courting Rituals
by A Paladin Theory
Summary: Spain is in love with Romano! Not wanting it to end like his last relationship, He asks for advice from his friends to make sure this confession goes perfectly and he can make that foul-mouthed beauty his. Human names used.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Hi everyone! Welcome to Courting Rituals! This is my first fanfic and I want to share it with you guys! A little tid-bit on this fic. I got this idea while I was playing **World of Warcraft **(I know right? xD) I was Roleplaying with this Draenei Warrior and he was asking about advice to woo this female he'd been seeing. I was like 'That's a good story idea!' And thus, CR was born! **_

_**A/N #2: In case you fellow WoWies were wondering, I have a level 40 draenei frost mage named Shri on Moon Guard and a level 15 Blood Elf Retribution Paladin on Wyrmrest Accord. If you happen to have a character on either server, feel free to send me a whisper or a letter! I promise I'll respond! since on on there every day, I'll end up replying to you faster then the PMs on here (I'll still be on here to respond to you non wowies too so don't be discouraged to not send a PM or a review for that matter! xD) Roleplaying helps me get ideas to create works like these for you guys!**_

_**A/N #3: As you might have guessed, I tend to ramble a lot. xD I can't help that I'm chatty! But I will try to keep the notes under 3 on a weekly basis when I post a new chapter. Enjoy and review! Also this is in our favorite Spainard's point of view!**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own anything in Hetalia: Axis powers. **_

_**This is a homosexual relationship between two males. If you don't like then don't read.**_

_**Rated M for language, sexual themes, possibly violence and nudity in later chapter.**_

* * *

_**Chapter 1: The Act of Realization**_

Do you remember how you felt when your heart skipped a beat?

Did your palms get sweaty?

Did you have a tingly sensation in your stomach?

Like when you go into you garden and see that beautiful, intoxicating tomato just hanging by that scrawny green vine. Then you're like **_"Oh no! That stupid, scrawny green vine better not drop my precious tomato!"_ **So you end up plucking it yourself.

And taking a gigantic bite out of her nice, round backside drinking her sweet juices. Then you use your finger to collect the little driplets that's on your chin so they don't get get and sticky and your finger won't get stuck to your chin for three hours.

..I love that feeling...But there was a problem.

See, I didn't have a tomato with me. No I got this feeling when I was around Lovi. His 'real' name's Romano but I like his human name, Lovino. It just tangoes off the tongue. But most of the time my mouth prefers the Cha-Cha so I go like this: 'Lovi!~' See how much easier and nicer it is to say? Don't worry, the swiggle's my personal _Ole!_ on the word. Now he can tell if it's me when he's in complete and total darkness when I call him! ..So don't go using the swiggle okay~?

Then he'd be like "Why is there so many swiggle voices? Dammit, my macho Italian brain is confused!"

And since there isn't fifty Antonios-and there isn't right?- I claim the swiggle in the name of Spain!

Ahahahaha~..I'm getting off topic aren't I?

Well that's proof of what Lovi~ does to me! I thought I was sick at first so I told him that he could only visit me once every two weeks. He was soo cute with his _'I'm-acting-like-I-don't-care-but-I-kinda-do'_ scowly thing on his face. He listened though.

He still not happy about it though.

But then I had a meeting with my two closest friends: Francis and Gilbert!

And it actually went pretty well!

Francis was sipping on some of my Sangria I offered.("Ohonhonhonhon, you know I love your wine but it taste like crap compared to mine~.") Gilbert was taking pictures on his expensive phone to his boyfriend. ("Yeah baby! How awesome does my ass look at this angle of the chair?") I always forget his name. I think it starts with a 'Z' or something...

Anywho..

All the wine and picture taking was quite distracting so I had to get their attention.

**xXxXx**

"Guys. I think I'm dying."

For some reason, Francis spit his Sangria on the floor and Gilbert stop posing. Then they laughed at me! I mean I was so confused about my feelings with Lovi~ so this was kinda some serious business!

But they laughed..

And laughed some more..

Now they were cry-laughing..

I couldn't help but pout as I watched the two cry away and slap knees. I couldn't have been **_that_** funny right? It's not like I said, _**"Look at me! I'm a ****jalapeño**! On a stick!" _America showed me that once. Now that was funny.

Gilbert was the first to stop laughing, using his expensive phone to wipe his tears.

"Geez _**Anton**_. You are awesome at being slow! You're economy sucks balls with your recession and all that but you're not dying! Awesome text time!"

And with that he was back posing and texting on his phone but it was weird since it didn't have any buttons like mine did. He looked silly using his thumbs on imaginary buttons. And he thinks I'm slow? Ahahahaha~!

Francis cleared his throat before setting the wine down.

"What's the matter this time **_Antoine_**? Last time you said that you were stuck in your hall closet for thirty minutes."

Hey! Closets are scary! I wanted to see my Roja Bonita and_ BAM!_ The door slammed behind me. It was so dark and cramped in there! And we were so close too! I'm glad she didn't cut me. I do love petting her though. So soft..that scarf on her handle.

Sorry..got off topic again. I do that alot...ahahaha~

**xXxXx**

So then I spent twenty minutes explaining how I felt about Lovi~. Surprisingly, people get confused when I explain things. I'm a great explainer; I talk with my hands!

Even with my hands, they still just stared at me. Kinda hard too. I felt a little silly standing there and just a bit uncomfortable.

Soon they spoke at the same time.

"So you're in _love_ with him?"

See I never experienced _love_ before. My last relationship was with** him**. And there was no love whatsoever.

But!

These two had lovers in their lives so they must be right about me.

..Right?

So I nodded.

"But what do I do?" Seeing as I'm in love with my tomatos and I like Lovino like my tomatoes, I must be in love with him. Wow..I never thought I would be in love with that little country who sucked at sweeping..I'm soo old.

Even so, I don't want me and Lovi to wind up like my last relationship.

"Honhonhon. Oh sweet, gullible **_Antoine_**. Come sit on my lap and I'll tell you what to do."

There was a chair right next to him but I guess what he had to say was super secretive! So secretive that not even Gilbert had to know!

So I sat in his lap.

Now let me tell you something. I always felt something on my butt whenever I sat in Francis's lap. I heard something like "Sweet melon globes" too but he always told me it was my imagination.

..Kinda weird for me to imagine that all the time.

I need help.

"So you admit that you're falling for him. That's a good sign," Francis started, still feeling things on my butt. "..but do you plan on asking -though I'm not sure why- him out?"

I felt my face burn. Lovi? And me? With tomato-scented candles everywhere?

I nodded like five times.

"Okay..how do you plan to ask him?"

...Good question.

"Umm..I was just gonna ask him plainly and be as me as possible I guess."

Gilbert snorted-he was back on his super expensive phone again- and looked at me.

"**_Anton_**. Being you sucks! You need to add some flavor in your confession! When does your drama queen come back to your House."

More butt feeling..

"Next weekend I think.."

Something's poking my back...

Gilbert smirked as he took another picture on his phone.

"Good. Tomorrow you and your broke down car can come to Germany and I'll give you advice on how to awesomely ask out your she-man."

I frowned a little at that. I felt offended! Lovi~ was not a 'she-man'. I know he was 100% male...unless he got work done from America..Oh Lovi..**please** don't have work done..

Wait a second.."Why can't we do it today?"

"Because! I spent enough time with you today and I'm horny! Taking hot pictures of myself to my man in your House is lusty business."

And with that, Gilbert left me. Now that I think about it, my home does have a 'sensual' feel to it. I'm not called the "Country of Passion" for nothing after all.

Francis was busy laughing to himself before he picked me off his lap.

"Alas, I should be going as well. I also should be going to my naughty lover. Good luck tomorrow Antoine!"

Francis pretty much twirled out the front door.

With sparkles, roses, and a blown kiss.

Now I was alone.

I walked over the spill Francis made-I'll get to it later, I promise!- and I went to the kitchen window where Señor Tito hung from his scrawny green vine.

"Tomorrow's I guess the day Senor Tito! The first step into making Lovino...mine."

Now I just gotta wait until tomorrow.

Right after my siesta.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Welcome back my old readers and hello my new ones! Your pal Pally's back again~ It's been a week since Chapter One and I'm so glad on the positive responses I got! And people from Canada to the Unites States to Sudan actually read this! This is amazing! You made this girl very happy. xD You don't understand how excited I get when there's a review or a new follower. I kinda rambled in this once but it's more than half the length of the first chapter.(Blame the rambling xD) So if you had a bad day (or a great one) hopefully this chapter makes you smile(or puts the icing on the cake). No one wants a sucky day and the world needs more Spamano in its life. **_

_**A/N #2: This Chapter has some PrusCan in it and we learn a little bit about Gilbert. Some things were better not knowing... I was gonna leave it at the end of the appointment but I was like no! I must include a little Lovi in here before since he was absent the first week! Thanks for being patient~ But he won't make his 'official' appearance until next week~**_

_**A/N #3: Another fact, I forgot to mention last week is that the 'Courting Rituals' and advice is going to be based on some of the mating rituals that some animals, insects, and people sometimes do. The week that our Spainish stud-muffish does them is the week, I will tell you wear the advice spawned from~ Hehehehe...this will be fun. XD**_

_**A/N #4: One last thing, I promise! You may have noticed that certain characters call Antonio 'Anton' or 'Antoine' or 'Anthony'. I figured that it would be easier for everyone to speak in their native tongues since every variant of a name is different in every country. You'll see what I mean when Canada comes around. Also, the Spainsh variant for Gilbert was 'Gilberto'. I figured that the extra letter wouldn't make that much of a difference but it people want me to add it in to make it more authentic then I will. **_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own these lovely characters, nor do I make money from this.**_

_**This is M for: Sexual themes, and language.**_

_**This is a ManxMan, BoyxBoy, however you call it story,**_

_**If you don't like homosexual relationships, don't read please.**_

* * *

_**Chapter Two: The Art of Bluffing**_

Today was the day.

I was finally gonna woo Lovi~ into being my boyfiend.

I'm so excited right now!

Like when I go into the market and they're a sale on tomatoes!

Or baby bulls!

But why did Gilbert wake me up at 9? In the morning?

With a text that said _'It's 9 so you gotta get up! Gotta be here at 11:30. Don't like it then suck it lozer!'_

Everyone knows I don't get up until two in the afternoon at least..

The sun was too blinding at this hour.

Ah, the things I do for Lovino..No I'm sure he'd get up early for me too! I must face it and do the same for him.

Five more minutes first.

It was 11:19 am when I woke up again. My phone wake me up again. I saw that it was Gilbert(I could tell since it was a picture of Gilbert flipping Gilbird). I glared at it for thirty seconds before flipping the phone open.

"Hello~?"

_**"**Gott**, you sound like your breath smells like crap! You better be on the road!"**_

"O-Of course I am ahahaha...~ you said we would have brunch around 11:30..I'm almost at Germany's border."

_**"Hey idiot with melon globes! If you looked at your sucky phone, you would see that I sent another message saying that I changed the meeting place in Berlin to a place called Hmel in Kaliningrad."**_

Hmm..there is a little envelope picture on my phone...

"But isn't that in Russia?"

_**"Noo, it's in my left ass cheek! Of course it's in..that place! There's a reason why we're eating there today so I'll see you in an hour or more!"**_

_Click!_

Crap, I gotta get dressed..

Surprisingly, getting dressed wasn't too bad. I picked a red long-sleeved button-up shirt -first two undone-, and some dark...straight leg? jeans. I topped it off with white with brown leather strap saddle shoes. Ahahahaha~ you think I know what I'm talking about don't you? Lovi always enters my closet and creates two weeks worth of outfits every time he visits so I can be 'stylish'. I even remember his exact words!

_Hey you Spanish bastard! You look fuckin' frumpy! Since you're my b-best f-friend and all..I mean since you're gonna be seen with me, you gotta look fuckin' delicious! Now every time I come over Ims dress up your closet and you sure as hell better wear these outfits too!_

_..Now go make me some god damn tea! ..Please._

_Bastard.._

Ah, his face was so red that day! I remember listening to the lessons after the tea. I just repearted everything he said but he smiled every now and then anyway.

Still don't understand it though.

...

Right! Almost forgot the watch!

**xXxXx**

I was out the door when I see a green basket at my doorstep. When I bent down to open it, it was tiramisu. Now who would send me tiramisu when I didn't eat? It's like they knew or something! I'll eat it on the way there.

I picked it up on my way to the car.

Now here's a story about my car. I got in 1924 before World War II started. Emilio de la Cuadra Albiol (no one says Albiol) created a car company with this Swiss guy named Marc Birkgt called Hispano-Suiza. It was around for a few years but they created this car series called the H6. Emilio was so proud of it, that he offered me jis favorite model: a **white 1924 H6B**. Of course I accepted it; I haven't looked at another car since.

I don't need fiats or BMVs or the one with the horse on it.

And sure it likes to stop in the middle of the road sometimes.

Or not start at all.

And the fastest it can go is 85 miles per hour.

But someone who loved his country gave it to me.

And I take care of it.

Besides, it's not nice to throw away gifts.

Anywho, I could bore you on the pretty sights I saw or how my car stopped in the middle of the road four times or how I may have almost fallen asleep while driving because a nice slow song came on the radio.

Not to mention how this dying bush I saw kinda looked like Lovi's hair and I sped the whole 85 miles the rest of the way there but I was three hours late. I'll tell you about my trip from Madrid to Kaliningrad next time 'kay~?

I parallel parked behind the **silver 2012 Audi R8 GT Spyder** with the Prussian license plate and ran inside.

**xXxXx**

Once inside I looked around and spotted the round glass table Gilbert was sitting at. He had a beer mug that was half way empty and two bowls of soup; one of them was completely empty. He was looking around tapping the table. He looked pretty pissed, if I would have to take a guess. Okay, gotta play this all smooth like. Nice and easy...remember to breath..take your time..

I ran.

"Hey~! Sorry I'm late! You know how traffic can be! Ahahaha...~"

Gilbert just glared at me as he took a sip from his beer mug. Setting it down, he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.

"I know I said an hour or more, but you know it's almost four right? Someone as awesome as me doesn't wait for anybody! One more minute and we would have left."

"Ahahaha~ ..We?"

"Hello again _**Anthony**_. I said 'hi' five times when you walked in but you didn't hear me I guess..."

_**Ahh!**_

How long was he _there_?

Crap..I screamed..in his face..gotta play it off..

But that sweet smile is kinda creepy at the moment.

Oh..

What was his name?

_Jordan_?

_Hilda_?

_Malcolm_?

I remember!

"Ahaha~ Sorry about that Mildew~!"

...

Judging from the blushy pout and the roaring laughter..I think I got it wrong.

Gilbert stopped his laughing and rubbed Not Mildew's back. He leaned in and eskimo kissed his cheek.

Not Mildew wasn't so pouty anymore.

I should try that with Lovino when he gets upset. It must be super effective! And kinda cute.

Gilbert was the first to speak, but little snickers still escaped him.

"His name's..._**Matthew**_. It's easier for me to call him _**Mathias**_."

"Sorry _**Mateo**_. It rhymed at least!"

"I'm not offended. At least you apologized, eh?"

That guy's so nice! I would go crying to my tomatoes or Lovi if they screwed up my name! I'm just kidding! I would introduce them to Roja Bonita then go crying to Lovi~. The he'd hug me while looking like he doesn't want to and we'd watch _Uomini e Donne _or _Che tempo che fa_. Those are his favorite.

Sorry back to Gilbert and Matthew.

You know, now that I'm not in a rush anymore, the place looks pretty nice. The atmosphere is pretty calming and it smelled pretty nice too. And the chandliers! So pretty! I'd prefer crystal tomatoes or turtles but this works too. That and Kaliningrad was pretty cold..wish Lovi included a jacket with this outfit.

"Hey what are we doing in Kaliningrad anyway?"

Gilbert almost instantly had this hard look on his face the moment I asked that. It was almost unnerving to me. Matthew even flinched a little and he was right next to the guy.

The smirk didn't help lessen his look from being less scary.

"Let me tell you a little story."

**xXxXx**

"Did you know I used to be married to West?"

My eyes were as wide as Matthew's. I'ma take a wide guess and say that his boyfriend didn't know either.

After a gulp of his beer, hey i want something to drink too, he continued.

" When Franz von Papen was absent, Hitler made Hermann Göring Federal Comissioner of the Prussian Ministry for the Interior. With the Reichstag Election on March 3, 1933 West's little Nazi party pretty much won the election.

I didn't think much of it at first when they told me in that in a few weeks, I was to marry West. Hermann said that this bonding of "old Prussia with young Germany" would help us become stronger. I of course was excited to help my little bruder become as awesome as me.

So March 21, 1933 we got married.

And everything was good at first.

We laughed and I joked around with him.

I thought him techniques I learned from the Teutonic Knights and helped him train being there as only a big bruder and a 'spouse' could be.

Then things went South...

West's little_ Hitler_ slowly started to worm his way into controlling my people. My ministries were merged into one and I began to have less of a say in meetings. So I was like 'fuck it' and I just stayed in _my_ captial with _my_ people.."

"Which was Kaliningrad."

Matthew smiled sadly as he held Gilbert's hand; his thumb was rubbing circles around his knuckles. Gilbert's look wasn't as hard as when he was telling the story. He looked at him and squeezed them.

I was too speechless. First he told me he was married to his brother, then he told me how slowly he was losing his power. I mean I vaguely remember it since I was dealing with my own issues at that time. I stared at his mug before glancing up at him.

"You know Gilbert, you don't have to continue your story-"

"Shut your in-the-sun-too-long face! There is a point to this story so listen to the awesome storyteller!

Anyway,

I minded my business in Königsberg, now Kaliningrad, but then...Russia came-"

Three eyelashes fell.

Then three more..

Eww, they fell into his mug..

He drank it!

"...You think that stopped me? Old Fritz and I will never be forgotten!"

Matthew looked so amazed by the story. He even teared up a bit.

I kinda feel bad that I think I missed some more of the story. Those eyelashes were distracting.

"I'm so sorry that happened to you..I had no idea. When we go home how about I make you some pancakes? I'll even add some extra cinnamon and ginger just like you like them. That'll be nice, eh? I'll even make some for Gilbird and Kumalina or whatever his name is."

He wiped his tears with the hand that wasn't holding Gilbert's.

Then I saw that look.

Gilbert had a small smile on his face but his eyes were different.

He had the same look I did when I see Lovino going out of his way to do something extra nice to me.

Yeah, I knew that look very well.

They were in their little world of small pecks, eskimo kisses, and whispers for about ten minutes before Gilbert looked over at me.

"You know the moral of this story?"

"Umm..Oh I know! There is a silver lining in each hardship? I mean you may have lost Kaliningrad but you got Mateo."

The little blush in Matthew's face when he heard that made me smile. I even chuckled when he shyly leaned on Gilbert's shoulder and Gilbert wrapped an arm around him.

It was like a pupp-

"Nope."

Huh?

"The moral is not have awesome people wait."

"Huh?"

"You showed up late. Me and maple leaf's been here since 11:00. So you get an uncomfortable tear jerker to make you feel bad. It's five now. It's time for me to get some awesome pancakes and syrup all over me."

...

...

...

I didn't get that from the story. I guess I am slow at learning.

"But that was mean and sad and uncomfortable story! All I asked was why we were in Kaliningrad..."

"Showing up late is mean too! We already ate our food. You would think if you wanted to bang and confess to that drama queen, in that order, you'd be on time! So me and my maple leaf's been here discussing ways to punish you."

"So the story.."

"His idea mostly. While we were waiting for you and eating our **bozbash**, I was like 'Damn! I prank that lozer for being late!' Maple leaf was like, 'Tell him a story of your past I guess..I mean it's pretty sad and we won't get kicked out for any vandalizing or nudity ideas you may have..' And so that was the story! He's a big cry baby usually so it worked out fine."

I was kinda stunned. He pranked me..

Don't know how I feel about that yet..

"Now that you're punished, you wanna date your grumpy, dramatic, sourpuss right?"

I nodded and he smirked at me, propping his elbows on the table with his chin on his hands.

**xXxXx**

"The answer is dominance. All men love that rival dominace factor. The extra testosterone is a turn on."

"Really?"

"Duh, tomato brains! It's how I snagged maple leaf and we switch roles every month."

"That's in-"

"I'll tell you how we got together actually. I snuck into the World Conference Room the night before a big meeting; West wouldn't tell me what the meeting was about so I was gonna find out myself! I have the perfect disguise: the lamp in the east corner by the window! No one uses that lamp; it was fool-proof! West somehow wanted to use that lamp that day so I was like _Click! _He didn't believe me so he threw me out that bastard" He flagged the waitress for another beer before continuing. "So here I was outside of top secret information and I see this blondie hugged a teddy bear outside the door. I was like _"Aren't you supposed to be in there?"_ and he said..." Gilbert paused and nudged Matthew in the side.

He blushed. "I asked if he saw me.."

"That's right! Then I told him we were gonna have our own meeting. Well that was the _plan_ but we ended up fucking in the snack room. Maple Leaf's gotta nice ass on him you know."

Matthew gasped and punched his arm. "_**Gilbert**_!"

"What? It's true! Don't be ashamed of it! I know you like my ass drizzled with maple syrup so there's no hiding facts! It's just Melon Globes."

Him and Francis always call me 'Melon Globes'. I wonder why? I ask but they tell me the reason is obvious...

Nonetheless, it was interesting that they told me that. Come to think of it, Lovi said that there was something off-smelling in the snack room one day.

Gilbert continued again.

"After that, we hung out and I found out that he liked my awesome amounts of dominance and swagger."

"What's _swagger_?"

"If you gotta ask, you don't have it Melon Globes. But he liked how I bossed him around or ordered him to make me a sandwich; the tent was dead giveaway. Sooner or later, I told him that he was my boyfriend and that was the end of it. He only asked that we switched roles every month. See? Easy. Do what I did and Queen_** Lovina**_will be jizzing in his pants for you in no time."

"Really? That simple?"

"Obviously. I **am** the one getting laid at night and getting pancakes in the morning."

Matthew simply sighed and shook his head. Fixing his glasses, he looked at the clock. "It's getting late, we should be heading out. It was nice to see you again **_Anthony_**."

Gilbert stretched before pulling up Matthew and was heading out.

Wait a second!

I ran after them.

...

I didn't bring money for the bill.

"Wait! Are you sure that's it?"

Gilbert was in his car with his black sunglasses on. He looked a little annoyed as he looked over his shoulder at me.

"What? Can't you see I'm about to have awesome maple syrup pancakes and maple syrup drizzled down my body?"

"I know, but I wanted to thank you for the advice with Lovi. And not being so angry that I was late."

"Oh yeah. No worries. I got to prank you so we're even. As for your she-man, just be the baddest, most dominate fucker you used to be. If you can't, bluff it. That and leather. Lots of leather..and whips for a bonus. This plan if fool-proof even for you."

He does have a boyfriend right now...But still.

I had to ask again. "Are you sure?"

"Who's got the man that's gonna make my ass sore for a few days?"

"Uhh..you?"

"Exactly! I know what I'm talking about so move out of my way before I run you and your stupid car over. Follow my advice and you will get your little she-man. Later lozer!"

"Goodbye, _**Anthony**_! Good luck next week!"

Blasting loud music and laughter, Gilbert left me at Hmel in cold, cold, Kaliningrad.

**xXxXx**

It about nine at night when I got home. I remember not to put the radio on slow songs and instead, I listened to _**Shakira**_ on the way home.

Man, her songs are so catchy!

She should call someone about that girl wolf in her closet.

It could destroy her clothes.

When I got in the house, my turtle laptop was blinking on the couch.

Walking over, I pulled off my watch and leaned over the couch to open it.

When I did, it was Lovi's picture inviting me to web chat!

How long has he been on?

I hope he wasn't waiting long..

I pressed the button to open the web camera chat thing.

"Hi Lovi~!"

There he was with his laptop in his lap, sitting in his room. I loved his room; those were the best pillows ever. Aww he was blushing!

"H-Hey..Spain. Why are you smiling so damn hard and stop waving before your hand falls off!"

He didn't say anything, so I'm guessing I did good!

"Ahaha~ I'm sorry. I'm so happy to see you, my friend! Oh and thank you so much for leaving the tiramisu on my doorstep! I ate it on the way to Kaliningrad! It was very delicious!"

"Bastard! It was Feliciano who left the-"

"Feli's tiramisu is too sweet Lovi. You don't soak the lady fingers in sugary water then let it soak in rum. Your cake it _soo_ perfect. I ate every crumb my friend.."

"E-Every crumb?"

"Even the ones in the basket Lovi~."

He looked away at the smile I gave him. I think his blush got redder but I couldn't see well from the lightning in his room; he only had his lamp on.

"See? I'm even wearing the outfit you picked out today!"

"..You forgot the brown-tinted aviator sunglasses."

"Huh?"

"The sunglasses that you said make you feel like you're a transformer. You have six of them."

"Oh! Yeah, I forgot but I wore the red watch. See? Don't I look 'fuckin' delicious?'"

"W-What? Bastard stop being weird! And you never cuss...but yes, you look n-nice."

"Ahaha~ I know but I was just quoting you though I wished you watched your language more often. It's not very cute Lovi."

"...So you had an appointment with a member from your _FAG_ trio. What did you talk about?"

"Oh! Well we went to Russia in Kaliningrad since it used to be his capital a while ago but it was so cold! I learned about how he lost his capital and how he was married to Germany. Then I learned a bit on how _**Gilbert**_ and _**Mateo**_started to date. I didn't get a chance to eat anything there since I was really late so your cake was helpful! Can I keep the basket? I can but the turtle laptop you gave me in there! Oh! Then I can buy you a red basket for the tomato laptop I got you! Wouldn't that be nice~?"

Lovi shook his head and chuckled at me, nodding. "But you know you should really find better friends. That Fuckface and the Asshat are always mean to you..calling you 'Melon Globes' and 'Stupid insert-spanish-reference-here.'"

"Aww they don't mean it Lovi~! It's like how you called me a 'bastard' and you don't mean it."

"Bastard.."

_**xXxXx**_

Afterwards, we talked until midnight about his day. He admitted to baking the cake, he told me how he switched Germany's shampoo with Tabasco Sauce since he was spending the night again. The he told me how he watched this lady named Olivia Wilde on **Che tempo che fa** and how he loved her yellow blazer and how I should wear yellow more often since it really compliments my skin.

"You hang a long day bastard, you should get some sleep. I'm glad it sounds like you're feeling better...I mean it was a pain in the ass to make you those goddamn chicken and noodle soup."

"But Lovi~, you know I hate noodles! They're like pale, dead worms!"

"Spain.."

"Ah fine. I'll log off for now. I can't wait to see you next week my friend!"

"Y-Yeah. Same here. Night."

"Night~!"

"Bye.."

"Bye~!"

"...~"

"You gonna hit the button?"

"Nope!"

"Ugh..fine. I'll just log off when you pass out or something."

"I'll do that too~!"

I don't know which one of us feel asleep first.


End file.
